Sad state of affairs

Quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever really been hated before.  I mean, not that I know of or remember, at any rate.  Sure, I’ve fought with people.  But it always ended on a good note.

That’s why this is weird for me.  I just told someone that – after nearly two months of not talking to them – she is disrespectful and that I have no desire to patch our relationship back up.  Both very true statements.  I can’t count the number of times she’s been insulting or rude, not just to me, but my roommate, to my friends, and even her own sister.  At one point I realized that I don’t have to put up with it.  So, I just started avoiding her.  Not to give her the silent treatment but because I very simply did not want to interact with her.  Virtually every time I did, she would annoy me in some fashion.  And I was just done.

Now, she sends me a facebook message asking what’s up and saying that we should patch things up before we graduate.  There was more to it than that (like how she hinted that one of my other friends – one that I actually enjoy being friends with – was making me choose between the two of them) but I’m not going to go into detail.  I sent a message back saying that she was disrepectful and that I had no desire to patch things up.  (Again, paraphrasing.) 

She sends me a  message back, one that makes it all my fault.  I should have told her when she was being disrespectful and we could have worked it out then instead of it coming to this now.  There was no apology (not that I would have accepted one, anyway) and no indication that she wanted to find out what she did wrong.  She just dumped everything back on me.  She even went as far as to say that I’ve been using her for trips to WalMart and such.  (If I had any motivation to send her a response to that, it would have been because of this line.  I never used her.  Back then, I actually considered her my friend.)

She then continues to defriend me on facebook.  The only thing this means is that I now have to hack into my roommate’s facebook (sorry FluffyBunny) to creep on her.  Which I just did.  Guess what she posted as her status?  Lyrics to the song “Whatever” by Jessica Andrews.  Not all of them, but a decent amount.  All I could think when reading that status was, “Hey, that’s exactly how I feel about you.”  Especially the part where the song goes, “Going on like this is so absurd/I’m sick of these words, words, words.”

Actually, what I really thought of while this was in it’s early stages was the song “Game Over” by…ohh, what’s her name…V.V. Brown.  That’s it.  Good song.  Appropriate too.  I suppose I’d be sinking to her level if I posted lyrics from that on my wall, huh? *sigh* Yeah.

Part of me wants her to understand, that I won’t deny.  I do wish she could understand that I never used her and I was never fake with her.*  Our friendship just got to a point where it wasn’t worth the effort I put into it.  But she can’t.  The first reason being that she won’t be able to look at that standpoint and not be offended.  Which I guess I don’t blame her for.  The second reason  is that it’s just not worth it to try and explain it to her.  Me talking to her right now would just lead to a shouting match and honestly I just want this whole ordeal to be over with.

As much as I’d love the last word, it ends here.  With me.  Be the bigger person, right?

*That’s the other thing.  She’s posting facebook status and sending people messages about how “fake” some people (make no mistake. She is referring to me) are at this school.  She even had the nerve to send a message to this one girl saying that she understands what the girl went through here (the girl transferred).  There’s two problems with this. 1 – The overall problem I have with this is that what goes on between me and her (the girl who’s mad at me, not the girl who transferred) is between  me and her.  No one else.  And yet, here she is, spreading her sob story about how she was cruelly attacked by the disease known as fake friendicitis.  (Those are my words, not hers.  She’s not clever with her words like I am. 😉 )  I understand if she needs a shoulder to cry on, but this goes wayyy beyond that.

The second problem with this refers more to the girl she messaged specifically.  Because this girl who’s mad at me is the same girl who dissed the girl who transferred.  She would do it all the time.  And then she turns around and suddenly knows what the transferred girl went through?  Uhhh…I think not.

For the record, I’m not actually mad.  Not mad at all.  I just dislike the fact that everything not only had to go down like this but that we probably won’t find neutral ground on this.  (Not that I want to be on neutral ground with her.  Just that…well, I dislike people disliking me as much as the next guy.  I’m not looking for her approval or anything.  I just hate the idea of her carrying a grudge, you know?  Plus, it’s awkward when we pass each other in the hallway.)


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